Women, Domesticity and the Presidency

Back when Bill Clinton was running for President, Hillary Rodham Clinton made the comment,

"You know, I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do was fulfill my profession, which I entered before my husband was in public life." (Source.)

There was a media backlash and she was forced to bake cookies, claim that she had baked lots of cookies and poured tea a lot in the past. Supposedly, her comments were taken as an affront to women who chose to stay home with children.

However, I have a different theory. I think it has more to do with a reluctance to accept that the United States has a ruling class. We have it in our Declaration of Independence:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness."

(Back then, "men" meant white male landowners, but by now it has evolved to mean all citizens of the United States, more or less.)

We broke away from the British monarchy and the concept that rulers are born.

And yet, with all our talk of equality, and all of our real opportunities for women that many countries don't have, we haven't yet had a woman as president (or even as governor of California, where I live). They have all been the standard white male landowners.

England has had several strong women as heads of state: Elizabeth I, Victoria, Elizabeth II and Margaret Thatcher. Other countries with arguably worse conditions for women in general have had (or do have) women leaders: Pakistan (Benazir Bhutto), India (Indira Ghandi), Chile (Michelle Bachelet), Israel (Golda Meir), Ireland (Mary Robinson), Nicaragua (Violeta Chamorro), The Philippines (Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo), etc.

In many countries outside the United States, the concept of a ruling class or an upper class is more accepted, and women in the ruling class don't need to take care of children (they have nannies), cook (they have cooks) or clean (they have maids). This gives them the possibility of running a country because they don't have to run a household.

Ironically, in the United States with our ethic of equality, we as a nation have a tough time accepting a woman who is not domestic because that would imply she is somehow above the rest of us. We want life to be equally filled with chores for all women! Denial of class structure trumps feminism.

For a woman to have reduced household duties to the point where she can run a country, she needs a staff, and needs to be rich and thus can appear to be in a separate, higher class than the rest of us. A man just needs a wife. (Of course, rich men's wives have lots of help, but it is more hidden from us.)

As the pigs in George Orwell's "Animal Farm" said to justify their control of the government, "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."

That's the United States in a nutshell, but we don't want to believe it. If a woman becomes president, we would be confronted with that uncomfortable state of affairs, and so far, that discomfort has outweighed our desire for equality between men and women.

Thanksgiving for Thanksgiving

I'm thankful for Thanksgiving because it holds off the xmas commercial frenzy just a little longer than might otherwise be the case. The retails try to get it going before Thanksgiving, but it only works up to a point. Things only really go nuts starting the day after Thanksgiving. If we didn't have Thanksgiving, the xmas spending season would officially begin on November 1st because that's the day after Halloween.

I'm thankful for Thanksgiving because its about gathering together with family and eating good food and taking a few moments to be thankful for the good things in life. No need to buy expensive gifts or fancy decorations or have elaborate parties. Just yummy food and family.

I'm thankful for Thanksgiving because everyone is welcome to celebrate and it has no religious aspect. It's an inclusive holiday.

This Thanksgiving I'm thankful for:

• the internet and its ability to allow people to communicate better and faster
• my cats
• my family
• my job
• electricity
• hot and cold running water
• air to breathe
• Thanksgiving itself!
  

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Onion of Procrastination

I'm still observering myself procrastinating on a daily basis, so I haven't yet solved my procrastination problems. I'm noticing progress but I'm not done.

It's like an onion in that there are many, many layers. I keep figuring out one thing after another. I think, "I know, my problem is that my tasks aren't clearly defined!" So I work on defining my tasks more clearly, and that helps a little, but I still procrastinate. Then I realize, "My problem is that I have a lot of fears about doing my work." So I work on overcoming my fears, and that helps a little, but I still procrastinate.

I'm learning that I have many reasons and methods for procrastinating. Recognizing just one of them isn't going to solve the whole multi-layered problem. Here are some of the reasons and solutions I have found so far:

1. I procrastinate when I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Solution: Work on defining my tasks better.
2. I procrastinate when I'm afraid I won't do a good enough job. Solution: Recognize that I'll do a better job if I do something than if I do nothing, and even if I don't do as good a job as I wish, that's not the end of the world. Therefore, I don't have to be afraid.
3. I procrastinate when I see procrastination as inevitable. Solution: Visualize my life without procrastination -- what would it feel like to get to the end of every day without procrastinating? How would my life be in that case? By imagining that successful outcome, I can more easily achieve it.
4. I procrastinate when I feel like it is impossible to do everything I need to do in the time I have. Solution: Recognize that I have scheduled too much for myself and cut back on the amount I have schedule so that it is reasonable rather than overwhelming.
5. I procrastinate by doing something that feels good but isn't what I want to be doing. Solution: Think about all the bad aspect of the activity I use to procrastinate (such as playing online games or surfing the web). While doing those activities, think negative thoughts about the procrastination activities, such as, "This is horrible. I hate this. It's such a drag to play solitaire. I'm never going to win. Even if I win one game, I'll just lose the next one. This isn't worth it. Why should I even try to win at solitaire?" In other words, take all that negative self-talk that happens when I'm doing something I should be doing and shift it over to the thing I shouldn't be doing so that I stop feeling like doing it.
6. I procrastinate in the afternoon much more than in the morning. Solution: Spend time right after lunch going through the mental exercises that help me get through the morning, giving me another mental push to get through the afternoon, rather than trying to continue coasting from what's left over from the morning push. Every night or morning before work, I spend time thinking about how I want to get my work done and avoid procrastinating that day. I usually arrive at work with some level of conviction about getting my work done that day. It lasts most of the morning but then after lunch things start to break down. So I need to regroup and think my good thoughts again so that I can make it through the afternoon.
7. I procrastinate when I think the task will be unpleasant. Solution: Realize that most tasks are ok and not horribly unpleasant, especially if I have the right attitude.

Not only are there many, many aspects to procrastination and many solutions for each aspect, just recognizing the problems and coming up with the solutions won't do any good unless I put them into practice. I can see that regrouping after lunch will help me through the afternoon, but it will only help me if I actually do it. And I have to practice it a lot for it to become a habit and second nature.

Bookkeeping

I need to do some bookkeeping with my procrastination project. And besides, "bookkeeping" is a cool word because of all those double letters in a row.

Today was not a good day. I did a lot of procrastinating today. I did a little of the work I was supposed to do, but I did a lot of procrastinating. So, it wasn't a good day as far as training myself away from procrastinating.

How will tomorrow be better? What can I do to make it better?

I was procrastinating by playing online solitaire.

One thing I noticed is that while I play a mindless computer game, I focus just enough that I stop worrying. It doesn't require so much focus as to be difficult, but it's enough focus to take my mind off my worries. I think that's why it feels so good to play.

Maybe I can try actively worrying when I'm procrastinating. Because my only goal right now is to cure my procrastination habit, I really don't need to worry about anything at all, except when I'm procrastinating I need to worry about that. So, if it starts to be that whenever I procrastinate I manage to fill myself with that bad worry feeling, and then when I'm not procrastinating I don't worry about anything else and just say, "Yay! I'm not procrastinating," then I'll associate a bad feeling with procrastinating and a good feeling with doing whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing at that moment.

I'll try that tomorrow. Every so often, maybe every 15 minutes, I'll ask myself, "Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing?" If the answer is yes, I'll say, "Yay! I win!" And if the answer is no, I'll say "Oh no! This is a big worry!"

And I'll report back at the end of the day tomorrow.

What did I mean about bookkeeping? I meant keeping track of how I do each day with my anti-procrastination project. I wonder, what is a word for "not procrastinating?" It would be nice to use a word that wasn't in the negative. Maybe "acting accordingly." That's a mouthful. Hmmm. Some other ideas: acting favorably, acting as desired, positive acting, proactivity. I think that's it: proactivity.

Hollow Fears

Usually when I'm procrastinating it is because the thing I have to do is mentally or physically hard. It takes energy and effort and it seems so much easier to sit around instead.

But sometimes the thing I have to do is easy. I know how to do it already, so it doesn't require solving problems or thinking something through, and it doesn't require much physical exertion. But still I hesitate.

Often this means I'm afraid for some reason or another.

As long as I don't examine my fears, they continue to influence my behavior and push me away from doing the task at hand. But sometimes when I recognize that fear is what's keeping me from doing the thing, I can see fairly quickly that my fears are hollow. I prick them with the pin of rationality and they go "pop" like the balloon they are.

I just had this happen. I was procrastinating on checking my work email. It's not hard to check email. I do it all the time, so I don't have to spend mental energy figuring out how to do it, and it isn't physically demanding in any way. It turned out I was afraid of what I might find. But then I realized that I have the capability of handling whatever comes to me on email. Even if it is something I don't like, I can handle it and I don't have to be afraid.

Once I realized I was afraid but it was a hollow fear, I was able to check my email and check that task off my to do list.

Procrastination

My old year's resolution for 2007 is to overcome my procrastination habit. I have a hand-drawn sign on the mirror of my bathroom that looks like this:


So it should be clear to anyone from the outside and me from the inside that my number 1 goal for 2007 is to eliminate procrastination.

But here it is, October 27, 2007 and I still haven't succeeded. Actually, there it was, October 24, 2007 (last Wednesday), and I still hadn't succeeded.

Then I made a realization, and I think it will lead me to succeed at overcoming procrastination.

I was thinking about a principle I've read in a number of places that if you want to change a habit or establish a new habit, you should only try to change one thing at a time. Also, try it for 30 days in a row. (Or 60, or 90, it seems to vary.) But it's pretty important that you only take on one habit at a time.

I've been procrastinating since about 1977, so I think 30 days is not enough. I'm going for all the days left in 2007 to see if I can fulfill my old year's resolution.

From now (actually three days ago) until December 31, 2007, I'm going to try my very best to keep from procrastinating. Also, I'm not going to try to improve myself in any other way. For example, I'm not going to try to eat better, get more exercise, have better posture, floss my teeth every day, keep my house clean, etc. Basically, I'm not going to try to change all those other habits I want to change because it will interfere with my attempts to eliminate procrastination. (I can decide what to do next after my procrastination habit is cured.)

Almost immediately upon making this decision, I noticed something: How do I know if I am procrastinating? The only way is to know what I'm supposed to be doing at any point in time. If I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, then I'm not procrastinating. Otherwise, I am procrastinating. Sometimes, I don't have to do anything. Sometimes I need to be resting. Other times I need to be cooking or working or exercising or dealing with bills, etc.

And then I realized that I often don't know what I should be doing at any point in time. It's unclear in my head. So at those times, I should fall back to the activity of figuring out what I should be doing. Then once I have figured that out, I can go back to doing the stuff I should be doing.

Here's the flow chart for overcoming procrastination:

Of course, what about will power? That's where the the single-focus, 66-day trial comes in. If the only thing I have to work on is this one thing -- obeying my "overcoming procrastination" flow chart -- then I probably have enough will power. My mistake in the past (I think) has been to try to do too many things at once: Don't procrastinate, don't eat candy, exercise more and harder, stand up straight, see the good in everyone instead of being critical, keep a tidy house, etc., etc., then I run out of will power really fast. It gets dissipated.

So, for the next 66 days (the remaining days of 2007), I'm going to ask myself periodically throughout each day, "Am I doing what I should be doing right now" and if the answer is "I don't know," I will spend time figuring out what I should be doing, and if the answer is "No," I will start doing what I should be doing, and if the answer is "Yes," I'll say, "Yay!!" and keep doing what I'm doing until I'm done with that and it is time to go on to the next thing.

Of course, things like exercising & organizing my house will be on the to do list from time to time, so I'll need to do them. But I won't try to make myself do them any more or better than I already do. And I won't focus on making myself smarter or nicer or more optimistic or kinder or neater or a better conversationalist or more attractive to the opposite sex or more generous or more organized or more efficient or creative or innovative or any of those all those other good things I could be trying to improve in my life.

Just this one thing for the next 66 days. I think it's going to work!

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

This one is old, but in honor of Blog Action Day, here are some thoughts about "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle."

It seems that people think about recycling a lot. Frowns come out when there's no recycling bin for the soda cans or copier paper.

But "Reduce" is not so much on peoples' minds. Reducing usage of resources is almost equivalent to saying, "Don't buy stuff." If you can do without it, don't buy it, and that saves resources. Then you don't even have to figure out how to reuse it or recycle it because you don't have it in the first place.

Make do with what you have already.

Make do with less.

Drink tap water instead of soda or bottled water. (No can or bottle to recycle.)

Repair your car or bike, don't get a new one.

It's not very much in line with what seems to keep our economy afloat, but it's better for the environment.

Taken to an extreme, though, it would be best for the environment if we all just sat in the dark and didn't ever do anything or go anywhere. So, I don't think it will go to that extreme.

How far to we have to go for things to be OK? What is OK? No more global warming? No more species going extinct?