Women, Domesticity and the Presidency

Back when Bill Clinton was running for President, Hillary Rodham Clinton made the comment,

"You know, I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas, but what I decided to do was fulfill my profession, which I entered before my husband was in public life." (Source.)

There was a media backlash and she was forced to bake cookies, claim that she had baked lots of cookies and poured tea a lot in the past. Supposedly, her comments were taken as an affront to women who chose to stay home with children.

However, I have a different theory. I think it has more to do with a reluctance to accept that the United States has a ruling class. We have it in our Declaration of Independence:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness."

(Back then, "men" meant white male landowners, but by now it has evolved to mean all citizens of the United States, more or less.)

We broke away from the British monarchy and the concept that rulers are born.

And yet, with all our talk of equality, and all of our real opportunities for women that many countries don't have, we haven't yet had a woman as president (or even as governor of California, where I live). They have all been the standard white male landowners.

England has had several strong women as heads of state: Elizabeth I, Victoria, Elizabeth II and Margaret Thatcher. Other countries with arguably worse conditions for women in general have had (or do have) women leaders: Pakistan (Benazir Bhutto), India (Indira Ghandi), Chile (Michelle Bachelet), Israel (Golda Meir), Ireland (Mary Robinson), Nicaragua (Violeta Chamorro), The Philippines (Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo), etc.

In many countries outside the United States, the concept of a ruling class or an upper class is more accepted, and women in the ruling class don't need to take care of children (they have nannies), cook (they have cooks) or clean (they have maids). This gives them the possibility of running a country because they don't have to run a household.

Ironically, in the United States with our ethic of equality, we as a nation have a tough time accepting a woman who is not domestic because that would imply she is somehow above the rest of us. We want life to be equally filled with chores for all women! Denial of class structure trumps feminism.

For a woman to have reduced household duties to the point where she can run a country, she needs a staff, and needs to be rich and thus can appear to be in a separate, higher class than the rest of us. A man just needs a wife. (Of course, rich men's wives have lots of help, but it is more hidden from us.)

As the pigs in George Orwell's "Animal Farm" said to justify their control of the government, "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others."

That's the United States in a nutshell, but we don't want to believe it. If a woman becomes president, we would be confronted with that uncomfortable state of affairs, and so far, that discomfort has outweighed our desire for equality between men and women.

Thanksgiving for Thanksgiving

I'm thankful for Thanksgiving because it holds off the xmas commercial frenzy just a little longer than might otherwise be the case. The retails try to get it going before Thanksgiving, but it only works up to a point. Things only really go nuts starting the day after Thanksgiving. If we didn't have Thanksgiving, the xmas spending season would officially begin on November 1st because that's the day after Halloween.

I'm thankful for Thanksgiving because its about gathering together with family and eating good food and taking a few moments to be thankful for the good things in life. No need to buy expensive gifts or fancy decorations or have elaborate parties. Just yummy food and family.

I'm thankful for Thanksgiving because everyone is welcome to celebrate and it has no religious aspect. It's an inclusive holiday.

This Thanksgiving I'm thankful for:

• the internet and its ability to allow people to communicate better and faster
• my cats
• my family
• my job
• electricity
• hot and cold running water
• air to breathe
• Thanksgiving itself!
  

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Onion of Procrastination

I'm still observering myself procrastinating on a daily basis, so I haven't yet solved my procrastination problems. I'm noticing progress but I'm not done.

It's like an onion in that there are many, many layers. I keep figuring out one thing after another. I think, "I know, my problem is that my tasks aren't clearly defined!" So I work on defining my tasks more clearly, and that helps a little, but I still procrastinate. Then I realize, "My problem is that I have a lot of fears about doing my work." So I work on overcoming my fears, and that helps a little, but I still procrastinate.

I'm learning that I have many reasons and methods for procrastinating. Recognizing just one of them isn't going to solve the whole multi-layered problem. Here are some of the reasons and solutions I have found so far:

1. I procrastinate when I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Solution: Work on defining my tasks better.
2. I procrastinate when I'm afraid I won't do a good enough job. Solution: Recognize that I'll do a better job if I do something than if I do nothing, and even if I don't do as good a job as I wish, that's not the end of the world. Therefore, I don't have to be afraid.
3. I procrastinate when I see procrastination as inevitable. Solution: Visualize my life without procrastination -- what would it feel like to get to the end of every day without procrastinating? How would my life be in that case? By imagining that successful outcome, I can more easily achieve it.
4. I procrastinate when I feel like it is impossible to do everything I need to do in the time I have. Solution: Recognize that I have scheduled too much for myself and cut back on the amount I have schedule so that it is reasonable rather than overwhelming.
5. I procrastinate by doing something that feels good but isn't what I want to be doing. Solution: Think about all the bad aspect of the activity I use to procrastinate (such as playing online games or surfing the web). While doing those activities, think negative thoughts about the procrastination activities, such as, "This is horrible. I hate this. It's such a drag to play solitaire. I'm never going to win. Even if I win one game, I'll just lose the next one. This isn't worth it. Why should I even try to win at solitaire?" In other words, take all that negative self-talk that happens when I'm doing something I should be doing and shift it over to the thing I shouldn't be doing so that I stop feeling like doing it.
6. I procrastinate in the afternoon much more than in the morning. Solution: Spend time right after lunch going through the mental exercises that help me get through the morning, giving me another mental push to get through the afternoon, rather than trying to continue coasting from what's left over from the morning push. Every night or morning before work, I spend time thinking about how I want to get my work done and avoid procrastinating that day. I usually arrive at work with some level of conviction about getting my work done that day. It lasts most of the morning but then after lunch things start to break down. So I need to regroup and think my good thoughts again so that I can make it through the afternoon.
7. I procrastinate when I think the task will be unpleasant. Solution: Realize that most tasks are ok and not horribly unpleasant, especially if I have the right attitude.

Not only are there many, many aspects to procrastination and many solutions for each aspect, just recognizing the problems and coming up with the solutions won't do any good unless I put them into practice. I can see that regrouping after lunch will help me through the afternoon, but it will only help me if I actually do it. And I have to practice it a lot for it to become a habit and second nature.